Hello lovely people!
It’s good to be blogging on here again, I know that aside from my brief upload of the art I’ve been doing (colouring in), it’s been a while since I’ve actually posted on this blog. To be real with you, I’ve been having some faith struggles. I’ve also been going through a season of doubt, mental health issues (depression) and some other stuff, but I’m back. And here I am trying to motivate myself and record my faith journey, it’s up and downs, ebbs and flows. So, to help me get myself back on track, I’ve decided to log back into my Holy Bible app, and start trying to actively engage in my faith again.
Because to be honest, I’ve been really disconnected from my faith. When you’re depressed you’re not motivated, you don’t want to do anything, but then your depression only gets worse. So, I’m engaging with my faith again. I’ve started a new seven-day bible plan, called ‘Anger and Hatred,‘ because I’m really fucking angry. There’s no nice way to say it, I just am. And sometimes? I’m even hateful too. I won’t go into the whys and all that, but things have been rough the past two years and it’s embittered me. In short: I don’t like who I am at the moment, and that has got to change.
I know I can change, I wasn’t always like this. I know I will. Today was the first day of my seven-day reading plan, (Which you should know I picked blindly, at random. If that isn’t God speaking to me, what is?) and it consisted of a devotional and a reading from the book of Romans. And I thought that I’d share both here so that others can also benefit from the plans wisdom. The Devotional was quite helpful to me actually: it was just what I needed to hear. It reminded me that some anger is justified, ‘Righteous Anger’ even, but that’s only if it is something that God is angry about too. We need to be discerning when we’re angry about something. And lately, I haven’t been.
The devotional encourages us to really search our hearts as to why we’re angry and get to the root of it, because only then can we resolve it. And of course, it encourages us to take it to God in prayer and ask Him to show us a way through the red haze. And anger can be like a haze that obscures everything good in your life. To be filled with anger all of the time is to not be able to see or think clearly, -you can’t perform your best at anything, and you certainly can’t be the best Christian you’re called to be. Whether you’re bottling up your rage (which will eventually make you physically sick, trust me on this one) or exploding like a firework over the smallest of things, it’s not productive. It’s no good for your soul, and it’s no way to live.
The devotional ends with asking us to let God replace our anger with Love. That doesn’t mean you have to love on people who abuse you. Or love on things that cause you pain. But it does mean that you have to love on yourself enough to let some things go. And if it’s somebody who’s causing you pain, sometimes you just have to admit to yourself some people are best loved from a distance. A far, far off, distance. After all, your well-being is important and so is your soul. Because if you’re angry all the time, you risk alienating yourself from your relationships and that includes your relationship with God.
And you know what that means, and it isn’t worth it. Now I don’t know about you, but I’m not letting anger rule me anymore. The plan ends with a passage from the book of Romans.
Romans 1:18: ”For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and wickedness of men who by their wickedness suppress the truth.”
I like this passage from Romans. Romans is so full of jewels just waiting to be mined. I’ll have to share more from the book of Romans, in future. I feel like this is a good quote to show you what to be angry at. For example, is the thing you’re angry at something ungodly? Wicked? Or are you angry at what is the suppression of truth? Is it a lie? Because this passage implies we should be angry about lies. We should be angry about wicked behaviour. And we should be angry about ungodly behaviour too, but it doesn’t imply we should go through life angry at everything, like some sort of a bull in a china shop.
That isn’t productive. Can you imagine if God was like that? The world would have never come into existence? So, I encourage you to stop and take a breath when you’re angry. Consider things: has something truly wicked occurred? Or, was this an honest mistake on someone’s part? Is this something ungodly that you’re raging at, or just something you don’t like? Is this an accidental omission of fact, or a deliberate attempt to distort the truth? Before we react, we should consider what we’re reacting to first. Myself included. Stop. Breathe. Consider. Is it truly ungodly? Wicked? Or a deliberate lie?
Because there’s every chance it wasn’t. And if that is so, then to quote Disney’s Elsa, LET IT GO!! Move on and do some productive things with your day instead. Read, paint, make something beautiful, walk somewhere pretty, spend time with your pets. Do whatever you have to do to get out of your own head and that red haze. And don’t forget to pray.
God Bless,
Frances.
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